Growing Beyond Comfort 超越舒適區

Repeated thinking patterns

We grow into certain routines and habits. Repeating that pattern of being that we are accustomed to can be called our comfort zone. When we do not challenge our thinking patterns by introducing ourselves to possible learning processes, or we only wish to confirm what we already think we know, we stick with our comfort. 

Progression and learning are exciting when we are young, and in our youth, we normally have a very elastic mindset that is programmed for growth. As we grow older, our minds sometimes grow stiff and start to limit our ambitions to explore and challenge our views. We fall into the false idea of knowing it all. And that stiffness of mind is actually a self-protection method that tries to spare the ego from embarrassment. 

Limited mindset 

The most liberating feeling is actually openly being "stupid." I have a high IQ of 160, and I used to think that I should be in a certain way because of it. I should "know," and most definitely, I should not show if I did not. That actually prevented me from learning. I only "learned" what I, at the time, believed to be right, things that supported my views. I did not dare to challenge my ideas, for I had learned most of them from people I highly respected. And after learning, I did not dare to push forward beyond that next boundary. Deep inside, I knew that there was a possibility that I could be wrong, and I thought I would look stupid. 

That kept my thinking locked in a box. My mind was not free to question and wonder about facts; I only dared to liberate it with fiction. That all changed when I suffered a total burnout and existential crisis. My whole body was screaming, and I felt as if I was trapped in a cage, and I wanted to free myself. I was locked in the dark for a long time, and my healing was not instant. I broke out of that cage and stepped into a completely new world. I found Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Chinese Martial Arts.

Psycho-Social expectations

In nursing school, we talked about the mind-body connection in a way that human beings are psychologically connected to our bodies and that social elements play important roles in our well-being, but I never understood holistic well-being so well before my TCM studies. All clinical work that I participated in in Beijing was actually holistic. I could see how much physiological good could be done by simultaneously addressing psychosocial connections. 

Now, you wonder what does this have to do with a flexible mindset and comfort zone? I'll tell you. We care too much about others' opinions about us; we often put ourselves into those boxes for other people and are then afraid to be who we are for fear if our true selves are not accepted. Those social expectations we put on ourselves often in the form of assuming how others see us keep us in our boxes or cages and prevent challenging our thinking patterns and, hence, also our growth. 

We need to strip down all pretense to find our true selves, and that means most likely stepping boldly into the world of not knowing. Allowing our minds to search and find and, most importantly, make mistakes. When you are boldly "stupid" and own your mistakes, you will grow out of your comfort zone, find your purpose in life, and be able to lead a life that is narrated with your own voice. 

I enjoy being "stupid," for I no longer fear losing my face. I only fear losing people. 

Translated into Cantonese with an AI

重複的思維模式  

我們逐漸形成某些例行公事和習慣。重複我們習慣的模式可以稱之為舒適區。當我們不挑戰自己的思維模式，沒有引入可能的學習過程，或者只是希望確認我們已經認為自己知道的東西時，我們就會堅持在舒適中。  

年輕時，進步和學習是令人興奮的，在我們的青春中，通常擁有非常靈活的心態，這種心態被編程為成長。隨著年齡增長，我們的思想有時會變得僵硬，開始限制我們探索和挑戰觀點的雄心。我們陷入了全知的錯誤觀念。這種僵硬的思維實際上是一種自我保護的方法，試圖讓自我避免尷尬。  

有限的心態  

最解放的感覺其實是坦然地“愚蠢”。我的智商高達160，我曾經認為自己應該要有某種方式。我要“知道”，而且肯定不應該表現出我不知道的樣子。這實際上阻止了我學習。我只“學習”我當時認為正確的、支持我觀點的事情。我不敢挑戰我的想法，因為我大部分的想法都是向我非常尊敬的人學來的。在學習之後，我也不敢超越那個邊界。內心深處，我知道我可能是錯的，我認為我會顯得愚蠢。  

這樣讓我的思維被鎖在一個盒子裡。我的思維無法自由地質疑和思考事實；我只敢用虛構來解放它。當我經歷了徹底的疲憊和存在危機時，一切都改變了。我的全身在尖叫，我感到自己被困在一個籠子裡，我想要解放自己。我在黑暗中被鎖了很長一段時間，而我的療癒並不是瞬間的。我突破了那個籠子，走進了一個全新的世界。我找到了傳統中醫（TCM）和中國武術。  

心理社會期望  

在護理學校，我們以一種方式討論了身心聯繫，即人類在心理上與我們的身體相連，而社會元素在我們的幸福中扮演著重要角色，但在我學習中醫之前，我從未如此深入理解整體幸福。我在北京參與的所有臨床工作其實都是整體的。我可以看到，通過同時處理心理社會聯繫，可以帶來多少生理上的好處。  

現在，你可能會想這與靈活的心態和舒適區有什麼關係？我告訴你。我們對他人對我們的看法過於在意；我們經常把自己放進那些盒子裡，然後因為害怕自己的真實自我不被接受而不敢做自己。我們對自己施加的這些社會期望，往往以假設他人如何看待我們的形式出現，使我們保持在自己的盒子或籠子裡，並阻止挑戰我們的思維模式，因此也阻礙了我們的成長。  

我們需要剝去所有的假裝，找到真正的自我，這意味著很可能大膽地走進未知的世界。讓我們的思維去探索和發現，最重要的是，犯錯。當你大膽“愚蠢”並擁有自己的錯誤時，你將會走出舒適區，找到生命的目的，並能夠以自己的聲音講述生活。 

 

我喜歡做“愚蠢”的事，因為我不再害怕失去面子。我只害怕失去人。