Self-Talk and personal truths in Growth and Limited Mindsets

 

Negative self-talk will negatively impact your abilities because your mind will make it your truth. So, be careful how you talk to yourself and what you start believing. Sometimes, a slight push to a more positive direction is enough to set the course in a more pleasant direction; sometimes, we must work hard with our core beliefs to become whole and confident.

When we want to find motivation and make goals that lift our abilities to the next level, we must recognize how we present things to ourselves and make them sound to our ears. You have the keys to make things more challenging and easier. Unfortunately, a harmful relationship with yourself manifests itself in many ways, and sometimes, it only stands in your way when you wish to achieve something. It can possess the power to hurt you and make you feel genuinely inferior to everyone. Your truth will become the ultimate truth, even without evidentiary support. How you talk with yourself is crucial.

Let me give you an example: Eating disorders are an excellent example of harmful self-talk and warped body image that occurs on a profound personal level and is the truth to that person who lives with that disorder. If anyone contradicts that self-talk or challenges that harmful thinking, as long as it remains the personal truth to the person whose thinking patterns are influenced by this misconception, nothing will change. Talking with anyone but that person's inner self about the subject is like trying to fit a square block into a circular hole; it is not that person's personal truth, and that person's mind will reject it. The same will occur with your thoughts and truths in your mind; your mind will reject it if it is not your truth.

It would be amazing to write here that I found the ultimate cure for eating disorders, but unfortunately, I did not. However, being comfortable within your body is vital, and positive self-talk and kindness are essential. To grow out of limiting mindsets, we need to acknowledge negative self-talk and turn it into truthful positive—something we can believe in ourselves.

Here is an example of how thinking- and talking patterns can be changed.

When you aim to change your self-talk, you need to be truthful.

You need to believe what you tell yourself. Because of that, do not take too long leaps from one truth to another. If your mind detects a lie, nothing will change.

However, when you wish to change a negative thinking pattern into a positive one, you take baby steps toward your new truth.

Write your current thinking on the left side of a sheet of paper and your new thinking pattern on the other side.

Look at those statements and determine mini-goals on the way. Mini-goals, in this case, are ideas you feel are more believable for your brain than the leap to the final goal. 

Here is an example for changing a pattern:

1) 'I hate myself'-

2)' I have a good relationship with x, and I do not notice I hate myself with x's - 

3)' I am ok when I am with x -

4)' I am ok -

5) 'I like me sometimes'-

6)' I like me' -

7) 'I like being me when I am X'-

8)' I like me and I like being me' -

9)' I love me sometimes' -

10) I love me.

You do not need to include any other persons. You can use a place where you feel good about yourself or your activity. If that is true for you, you can even use that you feel great in the morning when you wake up.

Do not change your words to yourself before you feel your mind is on the same page and you honestly believe what you say. Take your time, and once you believe, you can move forward. In the example, it is crucial to remove the word 'hate' from your self-talk as early as possible and then make the path logical. 

If you believe in your abilities, you challenge yourself more and push yourself outside your comfort zone. We need a growth mindset to build something new, an outcome of our beliefs. How your mindset is formed in the first place has much to do with all the teachers in your life. If you are shown examples through growth and inspiration, if you are taught by involving yourself and leading by example of doing, you most likely have a growth mindset. However, if you have faced more failures and negative feedback on a personal level and felt ashamed learning new things, you most likely settle with a limited mindset for self-preservation. 

Growing out from a limited mindset is possible, but first, you must acknowledge that you have one. My experience has shown that a person may have both mindsets in different matters; in some areas, they are willing to go above and beyond with new challenges, and in others, their mindset is fixed. There can be many reasons why it is like this, but schools and the different subjects we learn from various teachers must have some influence on that.

Most importantly, you should be familiar with your mindset and always understand your shortcomings to improve yourself. You should know and believe you can learn, do, and achieve different things when you put in the work and effort. However, choose your battles carefully; not all are worth your effort.

And remember - Positive feeds positive, and negative feeds negative.